Apsconditus
by frozencinders
Summary: Sasori and Deidara accept an undercover mission to gather intel on the seven tails' Jinchuriki. Set before Shukaku's sealing.
1. Sanctificate

"Undercover? Sounds like fun, mm." Sasori inwardly scowled, disagreeing with the boy.

"I assume this means I can't stay within Hiruko during the mission?" he asked, daring to get his hopes up.

"You would assume correctly," Konan answered, "you're going to have to actually talk to people, and your real appearance is much more approachable."

"I think she just called your puppet ugly," Deidara pointed out.

"Way to state the obvious, it's not like everyone didn't already know the damn thing's hideous," Hidan remarked, swearing under his breath when Kakuzu elbowed him.

"Why don't you go with him instead, then? Otherwise, there's nothing keeping me from stuffing you inside Hiruko until I get back."

"Hey-"

"I can't say I would disapprove of that," Kakuzu chimed.

"HEY-"

"There will be none of that," Konan interrupted, "Sasori and Deidara will go as partners, like always. You have the rest of the day to pick out disguises and think of aliases. It would be best if we recognized you two as little as possible."

The pair accepted their mission and began to leave, having decided to get the disguises out of the way first.

"Can't believe you tried to stick me with Hidan," Deidara mumbled on the way out. The hideout was empty enough that his voice reached the other members regardless, and Hidan tried to complain as Kakuzu talked over him.

"I can't believe you're against the idea of doing me a favor." This earned a laugh out of Deidara and a swing from Hidan's scythe, which was easily blocked. He gave up after the first swing, dragging the weapon on the ground as he followed Kakuzu to the direction of their rooms, ranting becoming faint as the duo disappeared.

* * *

><p>"Did you find an outfit yet, brat?"<p>

"Not unless we're going to a strip club, mm. What is all this, size negative 7?"

"What's wrong, is your metabolism finally slowing down?" Sasori could practically hear the frown in Deidara's sigh.

"They fit just fine, they're just too tight for my liking, hm. I mean-"

"Well, I'm tired of waiting. Pick something and go with it."

Deidara threw the door to the changing room open, intending to yell at his partner, but stopped when he saw the puppet master's choice of disguise.

"Formal wear, huh?" Deidara joked, noting he even had a red tie to go with the darker red suit. He had to admit, his partner actually looked really... normal. Normal was all he would allow himself to think on the matter. There was probably some rule against Akatsuki members sleeping together. Well, then there's Hidan and Kakuzu, who were likely breaking said metaphorical rule. Sasori didn't have the parts for it, anyway. Unless he did...

"Are you listening, brat?" Deidara snapped out of his thoughts, realizing he hadn't been paying attention at all. The blond's eyes flitting back up to Sasori's was enough of an answer, and the puppet master glared as he repeated himself.

"I said, it's the only thing that looks decent and unsuspecting. Now, like I said, pick something and go with it."

"Just go home without me, yeah? I'll catch up later."

"Then I would have to walk home. Did you leave your brain at the hideout?" Sasori finally looked down, eyes racing back up when he saw what Deidara had meant with the size comment.

"Fine, then just think of an alias while you wait or something, mm," he said, ignoring the redhead's protests as he closed the door to the changing room again.

Sasori sat in front of the building with his usual clothes back on, waiting for his partner. After what felt like an hour, but was probably closer to fifteen minutes, the blond finally walked out, bag in hand.

"I still don't get why you picked a suit, mm. We're just asking around Takigakure to learn about the seven tails' Jinchuriki, yeah?"

"Yes, and we'll happened to have stopped by on our way to a party or a meeting or something. We can't risk raising any suspicion."

"But you haven't thought of where exactly we're supposedly on our way to? Speaking of, have you thought of an alias yet?"

"Pelant," he answered. Deidara thought for a brief moment, grinning as he understood the reference.

"I get it. Then I'll be Epps, yeah?"

Sasori allowed the tiniest smile through before it was gone and he was practically begging to leave again. Deidara obliged with the usual clay bird, having to wait until they were out of view to actually use it, much to Sasori's distress. Deidara almost considered saying he forgot to bring his clay with him, just to see how the redhead would react. He worried the joke may have killed him, however, and held off on it.

"What did you pick out, anyway?" Sasori asked, leaning over to check the contents of his partner's bag. Deidara took the bag and placed it in front of him.

"You'll have to wait and see." Sasori frowned.

"But you already saw mine. Shouldn't I see yours? Besides, what if it's awful?"

"I'll give you one hint, mm. It's blue to go with your red. We'll look great together, yeah?"

Sasori still didn't feel assured, an image of the leggings his partner had been wearing before popping into his mind, but in the ugliest shade of blue he could imagine. He shook his head, trying his best not to think about it. Deidara probably wouldn't go out in public in anything too tacky. He hoped.

"I'm also gonna change my hair, mm," the blond said, idly playing with said hair as he tried to decide what style to go with, "what about you?"

"Mine isn't ridiculously long like yours. There isn't anything to change." Sasori was lying, as he did consider combing it, but he knew it would look absurd. The only thing the redhead could do was hope nothing came to his partner's mind. Luckily for him, Deidara hummed in what appeared to be agreement, and the two spent the rest of the ride discussing what their "reasons" for being in the village would be.

* * *

><p>"I'll replenish your budget on Monday, as usual. That is, assuming you didn't spend it all," Kakuzu informed upon the pair's arrival back to the hideout, a hint of irritation in his voice at the very idea of spending everything they had between the two of them on nothing but clothes.<p>

"One of us didn't, but I can only speak for myself, since Deidara refuses to even show me his disguise."

"Hey, no reason to get passive aggressive, yeah? My outfit was probably cheaper than yours anyway."

"Eugh, enough with the money talk!" Hidan complained from afar.

"Did you even bother to check your hair after you two "argued"?" Deidara retorted, raising his hands to perform air quotes. Hidan clammed up immediately, gasping as he slicked his hair back with his hand, and scowling when he felt that it was fine.

"You only prove I'm right when you get all nervous like that, hm," the blond teased, "besides, I always figured that out of the two of you, Kakuzu would be the one denying it, not you."

"What, did you say something about it?!" Hidan turned to his partner, seeming somewhere between shocked and offended.

"I haven't said anything," Kakuzu assured, knowing full well that sentence alone was the same as confirming it.

"You lying son of a bitch..." he accused, sounding less angry than one would expect. Deidara guessed Kakuzu told Hidan not to say anything about their relationship, so he was probably relieved to a degree that the taller man didn't seem to mind the other members figuring it out on their own.

"Alright, enough of all that. We have our disguises, aliases, and our excuse for being in the village in the first place figured out," Sasori said, "so when can we set out?"

"Tomorrow," their leader answered, "and make sure you really do have everything planned out. Don't rush into this mission unprepared just because you're impatient."

"It's not like there's anyone in Takigakure who could give them trouble," Kakuzu noted.

"Wait a minute, I knew that name sounded familiar! No wonder you didn't wanna take this mission," Hidan spoke up, "now I kinda wish I could go. Maybe I could make a few sacrifices in your place?"

"Make your own damn sacrifices on your own time," Kakuzu simply said, glaring at his partner.

"Yeesh, what the fuck's the matter with you?" Hidan responded, entering a staring contest with the taller man.

"**The man was practically kicked out of his village**," one half of Zetsu alleged, the other half finishing, "he probably didn't even want to leave."

Red and green eyes moved to rest on yellow rather than pink, and Hidan stepped to the side to be seen making various motions that all meant "no," innocently hiding his hands behind his back when Kakuzu turned to see what was going on behind him.

"You two are like a comedy duo," Kisame remarked from the entrance, having just returned with Itachi.

"Hey, the gang's all here," Hidan noted, trying his best to change the subject.

"Brat, how long will it take to get to the village?" Sasori asked, ignoring the bickering that continued in the background.

"Probably about two days altogether. We'll have to stop flying once we're close, mm." Sasori nodded, figuring he would take a few puppets he wanted to work on and simply seal them in scrolls once they arrived at the village. It would give him something to do, at least.

"Are you sure we can't set out now?"

The redhead's question wasn't heard over the one-sided shouting match Hidan and the aggressive half of Zetsu had gotten into. He withdrew it, figuring his partner would want to rest before they left, anyway. The two sat through the arguing for a few more minutes before returning to their respective rooms to prepare for the next day's trip.


	2. Divulgo

Sasori leaned against his partner's door, impatient as always, but dressed in a suit Kisame had complimented mere minutes ago.

"Nobody said we had to leave first thing in the morning, mm."

"I figured I would tell you we're leaving now. That way we might actually be out of here by the end of the decade."

"I'm not even taking that long! I already started on my hair before you came and told me to get ready." Sasori heard what sounded like a brush being set down and he suddenly experienced anxiety. He couldn't fathom why he would be nervous, besides maybe worrying that his partner chose a terrible look.

The blond stepped out of the room, wearing a blue blazer to match Sasori's red, though a slightly lighter shade for contrast, and dark blue pants that were easy to mistake for black if one wasn't paying attention. His hair was let down and out of his face with most of it over his left shoulder, and his headband and scope were abandoned. Even more surprising, however, was the fact that it was dyed a light brown.

"We match, yeah?" Deidara said, snapping Sasori's attention back to his eyes.

"Close enough," he mumbled, unable to figure out why the situation bothered him, especially now that he'd seen that the outfit wasn't ridiculous, "let's leave already."

"I'm only bringing some clay, so let's try not to get into trouble, hm," he warned, "and we should practice calling each other by our aliases."

"We'll use them when the time comes, brat," the redhead replied, "let it come naturally. Just not naturally enough to the point where you screw up and use my real name."

Deidara resisted the urge to roll his eyes, silently drilling their fake names into his head as they walked through the hideout, earning a friendly whistle from Hidan as they passed by. Sasori smirked as he heard Hidan's vocalization of pain from his partner hitting him, most likely over the head.

"Why are you two wearing suits?" Konan asked, wondering if she should be worried.

"We're going to arrive in the afternoon, and we'll stay there until the following day's evening for the party we aren't going to," Sasori explained.

"If we need more time, we'll pretend we got the date wrong, mm," Deidara added. Konan nodded, satisfied enough with their answers. When they got outside, Deidara started molding his clay and Sasori pulled out a scroll, summoning the puppet sealed within along with his tools as they hopped onto the giant bird.

* * *

><p>Sasori covered his eyes, annoyed that he somehow couldn't bring himself to close them. Deidara had stopped on the second day of their trip to bathe, and figured it would be quicker to use the lake they had happened to fly over than to find an inn with showers. He'd agreed to continue working on his puppets, but he then realized he had none left to work on. The redhead only brought three puppets, and they mostly only needed minor adjustments. This left him mind-numbingly bored, with nothing but the blond- or brunet now- to stare at. He then noticed he had moved his hands and continued his staring.<p>

"Watching me's not gonna make me go any faster, Pelant," Deidara informed, looking over his shoulder at Sasori. The redhead automatically assumed the usual grunt followed the artist's sentence, but he was too far away to tell.

"I was wondering if you were going to drop that noise you always make." Sasori wasn't lying, as it was something that came to mind, but it was nothing but an excuse for looking at him, as he was already aware Deidara didn't do it on purpose to begin with.

"It's not like my stimm's written in any records, mm," Deidara said, and Sasori had to metaphorically strain his ears to hear the hum. The blond- _brunet_- had a point, however. Nobody would know he was an Akatsuki member just from a verbal tick like that.

Sasori was about to reluctantly agree, but his partner had chosen that moment to get out of the water. He turned his entire body around, not trusting himself to keep his head turned or his eyes closed while the man got dried off with a towel Sasori hadn't noticed until they landed.

"How's my hair look?" Deidara asked, suddenly dressed and close to the redhead. Sasori stood and inspected him for a moment.

"The dye didn't wash out, if that's what you're asking." The brunet squinted for a moment before muttering a thanks and crafting a new bird for them to ride on, since the previous one had exploded over the lake by Deidara's will.

"How close are we, by the way?" Sasori asked, hoping they were close enough to the village so that they wouldn't have to stop to rest again. He'd been thankful Deidara only took one break the previous day to eat, but a normal human can only last so long without food.

"I knew this would happen, hm. You're just asking if we're there yet every ten minutes."

"I've asked three times at most," Sasori argued, wishing he had Hiruko's more intense glare to aim at his partner.

Deidara rolled his eyes, throwing the new bird into the air before enlarging it and bringing it to life with his jutsu. Sasori often considered that the boy would make a great, _real_ artist if he'd stop blowing up his masterpieces. Sometimes, he even wanted to compliment his partner's art, but he was too stubborn.

The ride had begun to take much longer than Sasori had hoped, and with nothing to work on, he started thinking of conversation topics.

"Your birds often look like different species," the redheaded noted, "are they original, or modeled after real birds?"

"What's with the sudden interest, hm? When I was a kid, I used to look for birds around my village with my uncle..." Deidara waited a moment before continuing, "bird watching was kind of the only thing I had to remember him by, mm."

"Were your parents not around?" Sasori asked, feigning feigned interest, as he actually was interested to know if the two had that in common as well, but didn't want to seem as if he pitied the man.

"My mom died when I was young and my dad was an awful drunk. My uncle had enough and kicked him out of the house, yeah? I was probably around six years old." Sasori tilted his head.

"How did your uncle manage to get him out of the equation when you're his kid?"

"He was my mom's brother, and I'm pretty sure he never actually liked my dad, anyway, mm," Deidara answered, sounding fond. Sasori waited a few minutes before asking his next question.

"When did he die?" Sasori didn't actually expect an answer, rather, he expected his partner to start getting emotional.

"When I was almost eleven, I think... yeah, it was some time late in April, because I remember I was confused for a minute when he wasn't there for my birthday, hm." Sasori was rather impressed by Deidara's ability to maintain his composure. The redhead himself had a difficult childhood, even with his grandmother still around to raise him. Deidara, on the other hand, had nobody at such a young age.

"What about you?" Deidara asked, expecting Sasori's life story in return for his own.

"I abandoned my memories long ago," he answered simply, "all I need now is timeless, eternal art."

"Whatever you say," Deidara conceded for once, clearly not in the mood to start arguing about art, as they usually did. The rest of the ride was silent, save for Deidara pointing out the beginnings of a sunset as they neared the village and started to walk, claiming fleeting moments such as that were the true meaning of art. Sasori simply argued that the sun wasn't art.


	3. Suspicax

"So I'll get something to eat while you figure the hotel room out, yeah?" Deidara suggested, sitting down in front of a small dumpling shop.

"Need a place to stay?" A person dressed in black with some sort of porcelain mask resembling a tiger had suddenly appeared to Deidara's side, startling him. Sasori's hand twitched and he quickly realized he didn't have Hiruko's tail to impale the stranger with.

"Do Anbu agents in this village usually figure out living arrangements for passersby, mm?" Deidara asked, carefully turning to face the agent.

"There was an incident not too long ago. We've been on the lookout for suspicious activity, and it's always a good idea to keep track of visitors." Listening closer, the pair noticed the voice muffled by the mask sounded feminine.

"Mind telling us more about this incident?" Sasori asked, gritting his teeth when the woman gave him a playfully dismissive gesture.

"It's top secret. At least, for people who shouldn't be sticking their noses into other villages' affairs," she explained, sounding less professional than the duo would expect.

"Let me guess, you don't want to screw up on your first day of the job?" Sasori taunted, annoyed at how disrespectful the woman was towards him. Deidara quickly stood between the two as the agent slowly raised her head, likely in disbelief.

"Come on, Pelant, don't go causing any trouble," the brunet warned, "anyway, are there any hotels you recommend?"

"You should listen to your boyfriend," she said, and the redhead could hear entirely too much smugness in her voice, "and yes, about a block over. It's a bit flashy, with a bright red roof. People usually don't stick around long enough to find out that it's a lot cheaper than it looks. But cheap doesn't equate to low quality."

"He's not-" Deidara cut Sasori off with an elbow the puppet master couldn't actually feel as he thanked the agent. She gave another dismissive gesture as she disappeared, and Deidara sat down again just in time for the waitress to come and ask for his order.

"Why didn't you say anything about that boyfriend comment?" Sasori demanded, his tone low, but much less than Hiruko's voice. The redhead felt like he couldn't be taken seriously without the puppet, and it had been grinding on his nerves since Konan told him he couldn't use it. If he had to describe the feeling, it was similar to how he remembered the feeling of dehydration from when he still required water. He would work on his puppets for hours on end, not wanting to stop long enough to get a drink. It was like a paradox of waiting; either waiting for the puppet to be finished so he could get a drink, or waiting for the trip from his workshop to the kitchen and back to be over so he could continue-

"I was thinking it might be easier to just pretend we actually are boyfriends, mm," Deidara answered, bringing Sasori out of his thoughts and back to the world. The redhead had to think for a brief moment to remember how to manipulate his mouth into a frown.

"That's ridiculous and isn't what we're going with," the puppet master stated, confused when he was less worried than he figured he would be.

"That's fine, hm. You'll just be the guy in the relationship who tries to pretend there's nothing going on because he doesn't want anyone to know he can feel-... what?"

Sasori had grabbed Deidara's arm after a moment of hesitation, completely unsure of how to stop the man from talking. He couldn't swipe at him with Hiruko's tail, he couldn't throw any concealed weapons at him, using his stomach cable was out of the question, and he certainly couldn't reveal any of his jutsus in plain view.

"Just stop. Stop talking, and abandon this notion of us being together." Deidara gave him an incredulous look.

"It's not like I'm- oh, thank you," the brunet interrupted himself to accept the plate of dumplings the waitress had brought to him, "anyway, I'm not talking about our real relationship, mm. Just the one between Pelant and Epps, a temporary fake thing, yeah?"

"I still don't approve of this," Sasori informed, torn between glaring at his partner and simply walking away to finally book that hotel room. He chose the latter, as he was tired of arguing with his fellow artist and hated being in the presence of so many strangers. Any one of them could have been listening in on their conversation. Curious, annoying children, equally annoying Anbu agents, or even the... Takikage or whatever these people had.

While he was at the hotel, Sasori asked the desk attendant, who was dressed in the same bright red as the building's roof, what sort of leader arrangements the village had. The man had been all too enthusiastic about explaining their boring history, something about their previous leader dying and some cowardly child taking over for him. The redhead briefly considered taking over the entire village as a bonus for the mission, but discarded that thought when he remembered he hadn't brought many means of dominating a village with him.

"This place is hardly 'flashy', mm," Deidara mumbled, having wandered over to the hotel after he finished eating, "how does a red roof count as flashy?"

"Maybe she thought flashy was synonymous with annoying. The idiot at the front desk could easily give her that misconception," Sasori said, catching the brunet's attention and handing him a key. "The room is three doors down the left on the second floor."

"Alright, good. Now we just have to gather-" Deidara paused for just a second, "a few friends to bring to that bar I mentioned before, hm."

"Bar? Wh-" Sasori paused for a slightly longer amount of time than his partner, not having noticed the Anbu agent from before leaning against a building, "you know I don't drink, Epps."

"Just because you had to work as a bartender doesn't mean you have to hate alcohol," Deidara teased, playfully nudging his partner. Sasori saw the agent's shoulders move as if she chuckled before disappearing again. They stood in silence for a few moments, waiting to see if she would come back, possibly with backup.

"Since when did I work as a bartender?" Sasori asked, genuinely curious as to where the brunet had gotten that from.

"Not you, Pelant did. Just like how Epps," he pointed to himself, "used to fix toys around his village for spare change, mm."

Sasori scoffed, somewhat impressed at how much thought Deidara had put into the mission. The only other undercover mission he'd performed was with Orochimaru, and that hadn't gone anywhere near as smoothly thus far.

"I really did see a bar though, hm. I figured we could pick up some information from there, yeah?"

"You weren't wrong about me hating alcohol. I find intoxication less amusing than annoying." Sasori expected Deidara to look disappointed or try to argue that they should go, but he seemed smug instead.

"Fair enough. I'll go by myself, then. Here's the key to the room, mm," he said, tossing the aforementioned key to his partner, who caught it in a way a small child would probably find amazing. Sasori felt the urge to keep him from going, lest he get drunk and blow their cover, but the brunet had gone through a lot of effort so far to make their story believable. Even the redhead recognized the determination in Deidara's act of dying his hair, when he would normally refuse to make any changes as minor as a trim.

He bit back his protests and turned away from his partner, deciding to trust him to gather information on his own. Not wanting to feel useless by simply lounging around in their room with nothing to do when he wasn't even the one who needed a bed, Sasori made his way towards the outskirts of the village, as he'd heard Jinchuriki tended to distance themselves. Finding their target's home would definitely help.

"So what's with the matching suits, anyway?" a familiar voice asked, startling Sasori. Again, his hand twitched, and again, Hiruko's tail wasn't there to stab through the agent.

"We're on our way to a party," Sasori lied, feeling ridiculous, "Epps wanted to rest on the way there, so we're staying the night."

The redhead found it increasingly difficult to resist the urge to back away as the agent casually took half a step forward, likely finding a comfortable position to stand in.

"Yeah? Where is this party, exactly?"

Sasori's head filled with swears and he suspected that if he could feel his pulse, it would be racing. He desperately wished his quick-thinking partner had waited just a minute longer to head off to that bar.

"It's a formal gathering," he managed, "we were told not to tell anyone where it is."

The agent waited a moment before shrugging, shifting her weight again.

"Doesn't matter to me, anyway," she said, lowering her head to look up at Sasori, "that's not what I'm interested in."


	4. Respicere

Sasori and the Anbu agent stood in silence, and the redhead thought that would be a great time for the wind to start blowing ominously and maybe throw some leaves across his field of view, but the wind apparently had other plans.

"Then what are you interested in, exactly?" Sasori dared to ask, worried if she noticed something off about him and his newly brunet partner. He tilted his head when she shifted again, realizing her body language might be reflecting hesitation. That was possibly a bad sign, as it would be perfectly rational to feel apprehensive about approaching an Akatsuki member.

"That buddy of yours... you two aren't actually boyfriends, are you?"

"That depends on which one of us you hear it from," he answered, careful to not quite confirm or deny it in case Deidara was serious about the fake relationship.

"So he's available?" Sasori almost allowed his mouth to gape for more than a brief second, wondering if the agent was serious.

"I'm pretty sure you're not his type," the puppet master said, suddenly feeling the need to bail Deidara out- in advance- of any situation where the Anbu agent could end up flirting with him.

"How would you know? You haven't even seen my face," she argued, tapping her mask. Sasori could hear her pouting, he recognized it from having to listen to Hidan for the few years that he'd known him.

"Epps and I have been friends since we were kids, I've always been able to tell when a relationship would end badly," Sasori lied, finding it oddly natural. He was starting to understand how Deidara was able to come up with their story so quickly and fluidly.

"I wasn't even asking for me, dummy," she said, tilting her head and crossing her arms, "my buddy's boyfriend left him about a month ago and he's still torn up about it."

"We're not going to be staying here, even after the party," Sasori informed, impressed with himself when he noticed the truth and his lies were intertwined beautifully, "besides, I have a good feeling about that loud guy with the pink eyes. I can't remember his name, but Epps seems to like him."

"Shame. I'm still going to introduce him to my buddy, though. I just wanted to see if his partner," Sasori flinched at the word, immediately hoping she didn't notice, "was readily available."

The agent was gone before the puppet master could attempt to argue, and he was actually annoyed by it. He didn't understand it, but the idea of some stranger trying to hook up with his partner stirred up a feeling he couldn't recognize.

'Regardless, I think I'm starting to see what Deidara meant when he said this mission would be fun,' he thought, remembering the mission itself and turning around to continue his path to the village outskirts.

* * *

><p>"Nice manicure."<p>

Deidara turned his head to find the pesky Anbu agent from before sitting next to him at the bar. The brunet was lucky he'd already gathered most of the information he'd need.

"Thanks, mm. Pelant did them for me- you know, my boyfriend with the red hair," Deidara bragged, lying as usual.

"Boyfriend, huh? Are you saying that as a joke because I said it?" she asked, leaning over the counter and holding up her index finger as a signal to the bartender.

"What, did he say we're not together? Pelant's always like that, even when everyone around us already figured it out, yeah?" The artist hid his mouth behind his drink as the agent stared intently at him. It was impossible to tell what, exactly, she was looking at with the tiger mask on, and he hoped to hell and back that she didn't somehow recognize him from somewhere.

"You have gloves now?" she pointed out, gesturing to the fingerless gloves Deidara had put on before entering the bar.

"Yeah. I like them, but Pelant says fingerless gloves are stupid and pointless. I tend to take them off around him, mm." Deidara was guessing, but he bet that actually was what Sasori thought of them.

"Well, Pelant says you should hook up with some loud, pink eyed guy," Deidara almost choked on his drink, "what's the deal with that one?"

"Him? No, no, absolutely not, hm. Besides, he's already got tall, dark, handsome, and creepy on his side, mm." The artist didn't actually find Kakuzu to be creepy since he knew him past his appearance, but threw that comment in as he didn't feel like complimenting the old miser too much.

"What's your name, anyway?" Deidara asked, realizing he still didn't know who he was dealing with. The agent waited until she'd ordered and received her drink to answer.

"None of your business. You can call me none for short," she joked, and Deidara could practically hear her giving him a cheesy wink. He put on a fake smile, pretending to enjoy sitting and talking with an Anbu agent.

"I have to say, none, you've got the smartest ass of all the other tigers I've met," he said, forcing himself not to get passive aggressive.

"All the other tigers?"

"All zero of them, mm." The agent laughed at that, turning away and pulling back her mask for a sip of her drink. Deidara noticed and took a sip of his own as well, thankful he was good at holding his alcohol.

"You know, I was going to introduce you to my friend if you turned out to be single," she admitted, "but I guess you're happy with your grumpy redhead."

"Plenty happy. We argue a lot, but I wouldn't recommend playing with a blacklight in our hotel room tomorrow morning, yeah?" He winked, earning another laugh from the agent. Her demeanor then became serious as she held a hand up to her ear on the side Deidara couldn't see.

"I have to go, but you know what?" Before Deidara could respond, the agent had leaned in, raised her mask, kissed his cheek, and then turned away again. "Fu."

"Excuse me?" She turned to face him again.

"Fu," she repeated, "It's my name. You asked for it before, remember?"

"Fu, huh?" Deidara thought for a brief moment, wondering if it was a nickname. "I'll be sure to ask for you next time we're in town."

By the time he'd finished his sentence, Fu was already gone. Deidara decided to leave the bar at the same time, scoffing when the bartender informed him that the agent had left without paying. He put down extra money for her, hoping all this putting up with her antics would pay off, literally.


	5. Enisus

"So we both ran into Fu again, huh?" Deidara said as he checked the halls in front of their hotel room before closing the door and testing it to make sure it was locked.

"Is that your nickname for the Anbu agent?" Deidara looked conflicted, similar to the look he gave when Sasori and Kisame had gotten into an argument and both asked the artist to take a side.

"Uh, no," he started, scratching his cheek, "she told me her name, mm-"

"I suppose that's good," Sasori interrupted.

"-after she kissed me."

Silence filled the room as Sasori stared at his partner. The redhead was expressionless, but he certainly recognized the news as bad, for some reason. He didn't understand it, as having the enemy be in love with someone on your side seems like a good idea, as long as it isn't requited.

"It was just on the cheek, yeah?" Deidara muttered and then quickly realized he had something to change the topic with. "I gathered information on the Jinchuriki, too, hm."

Sasori wanted to respond. He wanted to tell his partner that he'd also gathered a bit of information, and then they could share the information like some sort of information sharing fest, with talking. The brunet waited another minute before continuing.

"Well, I got some people at the bar to tell me about that incident Fu didn't want to explain, yeah?" He paused to sit down on the bed, watching Sasori's eyes follow him. "Apparently, one of their Anbu agents was assassinated, and they suspect the "resident monster," as they put it, is the one responsible, mm."

"That monster must be our Jinchuriki," Sasori said, finally able to bring himself to talk. "I also gathered some information. The Jinchuriki is female and apparently stands out of a crowd. Dark skin, bright orange eyes, and green hair. She doesn't live on the outskirts of the village, which is where I was looking..."

"Really? It'd make sense for her to live far away from everyone else, mm," Deidara agreed, relieved his partner was talking again.

"It would. That was why I was looking in the first place, and I don't want you to let her kiss you again," Sasori blurted out, expression not changing in the slightest, "that was more words than I expected."

"It's not like I asked her to do it, hm. Besides, it was just a kiss on the cheek, yeah? Probably friendly or something." The brunet lied down, and the redhead felt some sort of apprehension in him at Deidara's lack of concern. If he had stomach contents, they might have been threatening to come up.

"We're together," he attempted to explain, "Pelant and Epps, not us."

"Yeah, I know. It was my idea to stick with that, remember, mm?" Deidara slowly sat up again, raising a brow at his partner.

"If Fu is in love with you, she's in love with Epps," Sasori mentally sighed in relief, feeling that he finally had his thoughts organized, "and Epps is in love with Pelant. Wouldn't there be inconsistencies in our story if you went around letting strangers kiss you?"

"I, uh... guess that makes sense, but she kind of caught me off guard, yeah?" The brunet stood up, about to ask if the puppet master was feeling alright, but there was a knock on the wall outside of their hotel room. Before either of them could respond, an Anbu agent appeared near the window, wearing a mask that looked somewhat like Fu's, but with spots instead of stripes, and a slightly different shape.

"Have either of you seen a female Anbu agent wearing a tiger mask?" he asked, posture straight and tone professional. Deidara inwardly snickered, wondering if this man was the friend Fu had mentioned.

"Yes, why?" Sasori answered, and the agent curled his hands into fists.

"Have you heard of the incident that happened three days ago?" The agent didn't wait for the two to respond before he continued. "There was an Anbu agent who was killed. Her name was Haru Akahashi, and she was my partner."

"The monster the people in this village were talking about was the one who did it, yeah? What's the tiger lady have to do with that?" Deidara asked, watching the agent's fists grow tighter.

"My partner and I were somewhat famous among our ranks. They called us the jungle cat duo. She wore a tiger mask, which was not found on her body." Realization hit Deidara and Sasori at the same time, and they exchanged glances as the agent continued.

"If you spoke with this imposter, you've likely met the killer." Tense silence flooded the room again before Deidara spoke up.

"I guess you'll be wanting to catch this killer, then, yeah? She seemed to take a liking to me, gave me a kiss on the cheek and all," Deidara informed, the truth ending at that statement, "but she told me on the way out of the bar that she was planning on moving to Kirigakure, mm. I didn't suspect why she'd be moving at the time."

"That is valuable information. If she contacts you again, please report to the Anbu headquarters in the far left reaches of the village." The agent bowed before disappearing, apparently eager to start following the false trail. Sasori didn't allow the room to go quiet again.

"Why did you cover for her?" Deidara sat down again, allowing some hair to fall into its usual place over his left eye.

"Seriously? Our leader probably wouldn't be pleased if we allowed our target to die before we were even supposed to engage her, yeah?" The brunet had a point, but something still bothered Sasori. He growled, wishing his metaphorical nerves had left him as easily as his actual nervous system. That feeling similar to dehydration overwhelmed him again, and the redhead suspected that if he could breathe, it would have started to become difficult.

The puppet master began something he knew he would regret as he touched Deidara's arms and attached chakra strings to them. He tugged on the strings, bringing his surprised partner's arms up and flinging them over his shoulders. The movement brought Deidara's body up, too, and Sasori pushed him down again as he kissed the brunet. He slowly broke the kiss, dreading the fact that he actually felt better after such a foolish, useless notion.

"Getting into character, mm?" Deidara whispered against the redhead's cheek. Sasori then cut the strings he had attached to the brunet and got off of him, glancing at the door before simply moving towards the window the Anbu agent had left open. He didn't bother looking back at his partner as he climbed through, intending to take a walk to clear his mind. It was late, and there weren't nearly as many people around, so he could most likely stand to be outside.

Sasori had heard Deidara get up before he'd jumped out the window, and could swear he heard the brunet calling for him- his alias- as he walked away. That name, the one Sasori himself had picked out, was starting to become his least favorite noise a human could make. The redhead would definitely need some time to figure those feelings out, as well as how to remove said feelings from existence.


	6. Inmerens

Deidara watched his partner leave until the darkness of the night obscured his body. He then averted his gaze to the sky before closing his eyes, not even bothering to attempt to think of what he would say. He was great at quickly coming up with solutions in battle, or during missions such as the one he was currently on, but he could never think of the right thing to say when it came to his relationships with other people.

When Deidara opened his eyes again, Fu was in front of him. He stumbled back a few steps, pretending to be startled as she let herself in. She walked right over and sat herself on the bed, casually crossing her legs as Deidara contemplated whether or not he should tell her that he knew she was an imposter.

"So I saw your boyfriend run away," she started, tilting her head, "are you two alright?"

"Why? Did you want to introduce me to your friend after all, mm?"

"Well, I saw it because I happened to already be watching," Fu said, ignoring the brunet's question, "why did you cover for me?"

"That's not fair, yeah? Avoid my question to ask your own?" At that, Fu fidgeted slightly.

"There is no friend," she admitted, "I don't really have any of those."

"So were you lying, or was it something else, hm?" Deidara watched the girl uncross her legs to bring them up to her chest.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not in love or anything. You're just kind of the first person who was nice to me... and you keep being nice even though you think I'm a killer."

"So what, you aren't a killer?" he asked, sitting down next to Fu in what he hoped was a friendly manner.

"No, I never hurt anyone! Some guys with headbands I didn't recognize came out of nowhere and attacked that lady, and I was trying to help! She even thanked me for trying before she keeled over, and then those other agents found me with her body..." Fu sounded like she was about to cry, and Deidara wondered if he should start patting her back. "They didn't even give me a chance to explain what happened and I didn't know what to do, so I took the mask and ran. Then I kind of snuck into the Anbu building and stole a uniform, but... it's not like I did it out of malice!"

"I believe you," he assured, "while the whole stealing an outfit thing sounds premeditated, I understand that you were panicking, mm."

"Thanks, but it's not gonna help much... unless you think you could back me up? I mean, I could maybe get a hearing, and you could help me explain what happened!" Deidara grimaced as he thought of how to explain how a court works to her.

"Well, it's not enough to just believe you. I would have had to be there, mm. You know, like calling in a witness, yeah?" Fu thankfully didn't seem too disheartened.

"Then I'll just have to find the guys who did kill her, maybe I can get them to confess and I can be off the hook!" Again, Deidara bit the inside of his cheek, wondering exactly how old Fu was to still think the justice system was so simple.

"Well, you try that. I'm not really much of a fighter, and Pelant will probably be back soon... if he catches you in here, he might report it to the Anbu station." Deidara wasn't lying, as he was sure Sasori was bitter about the brunet covering for her, but he would hopefully understand that it was imperative to the mission.

"Your boyfriend sure is mean... by the way, what did you mean by 'getting into character' when he kissed you?" The brunet froze, having completely forgotten that Fu was there even after the Anbu agent had left.

"Uh, we kind of agreed on... it's a roleplaying thing, it's, uh... embarrassing, mm." Deidara felt the blood start to drain from his face as he remembered mentioning his mission just before that.

"So the thing you were muttering before that was probably the same topic, right?" The brunet resisted the urge to sigh deeper than he ever had, relief washing over him in the most satisfying way.

"Yeah... could we not talk about this, hm?" Fu giggled as she stood up.

"Well, I should start looking for those guys as soon as possible, but... will you promise you'll come try to help me if I get into trouble?"

"Sorry, Pelant and I still have to leave tomorrow. I'll come bail you out next time we're in town, though, yeah?" Fu's shoulders fell slightly, but she didn't get too discouraged as she said goodbye in her usual cheerful manner before disappearing once more.

Once she'd left, Deidara lied down and waited for his partner to return. He hoped with all of his being that Sasori wouldn't get himself into any trouble at the last minute. Of course, the dream he had after falling asleep pertained to exactly that.


	7. Affatim

"That's an odd position to fall asleep in," Sasori commented, waking his partner, "you look dead."

Deidara stretched, finding his neck uncomfortably stiff. He held it in place until it decided to fix itself while he stood up and sat on the bed he'd been sitting in front of.

"I didn't fall asleep like that," he said, "I was laying down at first, mm."

Sasori remained silent, which is exactly the opposite of what Deidara had been hoping for. The last thing he needed was for things to be awkward between the two of them.

"So, uh, Fu visited right after you left," he said, sighing when he noticed the redhead hadn't made eye contact since waking him up.

"Alright look," Deidara started, "last night was obviously a mistake. I didn't interpret it as anything else and neither did you, yeah?"

"Pretend it never happened," Sasori agreed, gaze still firmly stuck on the floor.

"Unless that's not what you want..?"

"Stop," Sasori said flatly, finally making eye contact, "you're right. It was a mistake. This isn't a case of dramatic emotional theatrics. That's not what's happening here. I must have been confused because of our roles."

"Alright, good. Emotions aren't really your thing anyway, mm," the brunet joked, though he wasn't wrong. The only hint of an emotion he'd ever seen from Sasori was annoyance.

"What did the Jinchuriki want?" Deidara bit the inside of his cheek as he thought.

"Well, she might end up getting herself killed, now that I think about it."

"And this was last night? Why didn't you do anything about it?" Sasori asked, wishing once more that he had Hiruko's more intimidating stare in his current arsenal. Deidara sighed again.

"Well, we already know that agent thinks Fu's the murderer. Turns out she's not the killer and she's gonna go track down the real killers of the agent whose mask she stole, which is also incriminating her further. So basically, even if she somehow catches the guys and hauls them back here without getting seen, the Anbu will probably assume she caught some innocent victims or something, mm." The redhead was silent again as he thought.

"If she's a Jinchuriki, I imagine she'd be difficult to kill. Our leader wants to seal the tailed beasts in order, and we haven't been ordered to capture her... only gather information. If she dies, it isn't our fault."

"Now you're seeming a little bitter," Deidara teased. "I see your point, but half of me wants to disagree. I'm the one who encouraged her to go looking for the killers, even if it was by accident, mm."

"So, what now?" Sasori asked while resisting the urge to argue that he wasn't being bitter.

"You're always so eager to go home as quickly as possible. I guess it'd be a pain to have to deal with your complaining, yeah?" The redhead almost allowed himself to sigh, deciding instead that he wouldn't indicate that he cared. "Now let's head home so we can change out of these suits. I'm starting to feel a little ridiculous, mm."

As the two got outside, Sasori caught his partner biting the inside of his cheek again, noticing the subtle movement as his teeth repeatedly lost their grip and searched again for something to keep between them. He braced himself for Deidara to change his mind, preemptively throwing his head up and looking to the sky in frustration.

"Why don't we look for her just a little bit, yeah? Make sure she's at least not in the middle of getting killed?" the brunet suggested, and Sasori grimaced as he noticed Deidara's hand wasn't near his clay.

"Can we fly where we'll be looking? The answer to this question is the same as my answer to yours."

"Guess that's a no, then," he confirmed, continuing to walk. Once they got far enough from the village, he threw a clay bird into the air before-

"There she is!"

"Don't let her escape!"

-catching it in his hand and looking to his partner. Sasori rolled his eyes and then closed them, a gesture Deidara recognized as his way of saying "go ahead." He carefully placed the bird back in his pouch of clay.

"She was found already, huh?"

"Couldn't wait just a few more minutes, of course," Sasori complained.

"We should follow them before it's too late, mm." Sasori trailed after his partner, speechless as they followed the direction the voices came from.

"Let me go!" Fu yelled, her voice taking on a panicked undertone. Deidara took the fact that he didn't sense a spike in power as meaning her tailed beast wasn't in her control. It would probably only come out if she was seconds from death, as Pain had said (or perhaps speculated?).

"Alright, I've got a plan," Deidara said, making a quick handsign before temporarily disappearing in a cloud of smoke. It quickly blew away as he was in motion, revealing a form identical to the masked Jinchuriki herself. "Know what to do?"

Sasori nodded, stopping at the small clearing where Fu was struggling with the two agents as Deidara passed by.

"What are you idiots doing? The real one is getting away," he lied, pointing at his partner's retreating form, which turned around for one quick moment before facing forward again and picking up speed.

The Anbu agents wordlessly followed Deidara, apparently not questioning the fact that a clone most likely would have disappeared at that point. Then again, he considered, if it really was a clone, Fu would probably want it to stick around for as long as possible to buy herself more time.

"Thanks, I think?" Fu interrupted the redhead's thoughts. "Was that Epps?"

"Yes," he answered, pausing to collect his thoughts again, "he seems to have an attachment of sorts to you."

Sasori wasn't sure if he was lying. The logical side of him argued that of course Deidara would be concerned about their target. If she died, they would fail their mission. Sasori knew he should care too, but there was a tug in the back of his mind that was not-so-slowly inching its way around to the front, attempting to convince him it was something else.

"Then, I give my confirmed thanks! I can handle myself from here, though. I won't get caught again!" Sasori's shoulders dropped, and his eyes found themselves rolling under their lids as he attempted not to be rude. Whatever that entailed.

"Epps believed you wouldn't get caught the first time, and he trusts you more than I do. What makes you think I'm convinced it won't happen again?" Fu sighed and tilted her head, leaning her weight on one side.

"But you don't care as much either, do you?"

"I care about Epps."

That sentence, Sasori found, stirred a mix of feelings he could barely sift through. Somehow, it felt relieving to admit he cared about his partner, and it didn't sting his pride too much considering he used Deidara's alias, which was a subtle reminder that he technically wasn't talking about Deidara himself. He resisted the urge to hum thoughtfully.

"I see. So if I died, he'd be upset and then you'd be upset because he was upset!" Fu placed her fist on her open hand in a gesture Sasori had always assumed meant "I get it."

"We probably shouldn't stand out in the open like this," the redhead noted, following Fu as she immediately jumped into a nearby tree.

"When do you think we can meet up with Epps? You know, so he can help."

"Are you sure you don't want to see him for any other reason? You did kiss him, after all." Fu covered her face with her hands, a gesture Sasori failed to understand, as she was already wearing a mask.

"Agh, he told you about that?!"

"Yes, right before someone came and accused you of being a murderer." The Jinchuriki snorted at that, and Sasori frowned. The girl was all over the place, and he didn't like it. He hoped Deidara didn't find it appealing, either.

"Sorry, you just said it so... deadpan! It's not funny that everyone thinks I'm a killer. I guess I'm glad I showed up a little too late to hear that part of the conversation, though!"

Sasori was slightly taken aback to learn that Fu had apparently been listening in on them, but he guessed it wasn't all that surprising, considering Deidara had already told him that she visited soon after he left.

"Anyway," he said, briefly considering doing that thing where you clear your throat when you want to be heard, but there was never anything in his throat to clear, "Epps will probably lose the agents and make his way back to us. It would be troublesome if we moved and he couldn't find us."

"But won't the agents come back here if they lose his trail?" Sasori found his gaze aimed at the sky again, despite the fact that it was now obscured by leaves, before he brought it back down.

"Why would they check the same place twice? They'll most likely either fan out and search the area around where he disappeared, or go report to their superiors."

"Do you... have experience in this sort of thing?" she asked. "Not that I'll judge you. I mean, obviously, misunderstandings happen! Plus, you're helping me and all..."

"It doesn't take experience nor a genius to figure something like that-"

"Come on, Pelant, you promised you'd try to get along with her, yeah?" Sasori's eyes narrowed.

"I didn't promise anything. I said I might try, for your sake," he lied to match his partner's story.

"We're gonna be late to that party, you know," Deidara mentioned, appealing to Sasori's everstrong desire to leave Takigakure behind as soon as possible. The puppet master resisted a smile, which is quite easily done when faded instincts are what tell you to move and not your body itself.

"Aah, I really don't mean to get in your way! I can handle myself from here, I promise! Go have fun, and my name will be cleared before you even get back!" Fu assured, entering some sort of enthusiastic fighting position with her elbows bent and her hands curled into fists in front of her.

"Alright, I trust you. Now get a head start before those agents find you again, mm." The Jinchuriki nodded at that before quickly jumping away, footsteps against the tree branches growing faint almost instantly.

The two waited probably three minutes before Deidara carefully reached into his pouch of clay and pulled out the bird he'd crafted prior. He examined it for a moment before throwing it into the air again, uninterrupted in enlarging it this time.

"You were right. These suits got old fast," Sasori commented as he hopped on alongside his partner.

"Eh, they'd be alright as a once in a while kind of thing," Deidara mused, looking down at his clothes as they took off. "We're having a discussion when we get back to the base, by the way, hm."

"What is there to discuss that we can't talk about on the ride there?"

"I don't want you jumping off and having to explain to our leader why you went missing," Deidara joked, his stimm overridden by the sound of the clay bird having flapped its wings at the same time.

"We'll discuss it now and get it over with. What happened in that room was me being confused about how I felt towards you," Sasori imagined if he was still capable of blushing, his face would be heating up, "there is no more confusion and it won't happen again."

Deidara stayed quiet for a few moments, trying to decide whether or not he believed his partner.

"Whatever you say, mm."

* * *

><p>AN: turns out the whole story was a journey of "i guess i like that asshole"-discovery for sasori. it also turns out that "rating subject to change" bit never came true. my apologies if anyone got their hopes up, but the change in rating would have most likely been from allusions to things that already happened rather than descriptions of them /as/ they were happening.


End file.
